consuming me
Yay I finally have a computer back to write these blogs on!!
This week is so special because its National Infertility Awareness week, so I prayed about what to write on this special week. Sure enough like always God answered.
I had a friend reach out to me because her and her husband are going through almost the exact same thing as Jay and I. We talked for about and hour but one of the things she said stuck with me the most. She said they often have trouble turning it "off" because it consumes them. This statement was huge and in that moment I realized oh my what a great way to explain it.
You see we try to stay busy filling our lives with all these activities and things just to get our minds off of everything going on, yet somehow its still all we think about. I could be smack dab in the middle of Disney World, see a cute baby and automatically start thinking about our infertility. If your going through miscarriage, Infertility, or infant loss it consumes your entire life. We may not want to think about it all the time but there is really no way around it. If we could turn it "off" believe me I would!
Now bring us to what were going through now. I have a schedule of when to take or do everything. So literally all day I am feeling the side effects and planning when to take my next medication. Its a constant reminder of what's going on.
If we do get pregnant, until I pass the first trimester I am going to be a nervous wreck because of the consuming thought of something going wrong like the last times. So even pregnant I feel that I still will not be able to turn it "off" until I reach farther in the pregnancy then I had been before.
So you see we would do anything for an "off" switch but that's not possible. Everyday there is a reminder of your struggles no matter how long you have been trying to have babies.
This week is so special because its National Infertility Awareness week, so I prayed about what to write on this special week. Sure enough like always God answered.
I had a friend reach out to me because her and her husband are going through almost the exact same thing as Jay and I. We talked for about and hour but one of the things she said stuck with me the most. She said they often have trouble turning it "off" because it consumes them. This statement was huge and in that moment I realized oh my what a great way to explain it.
You see we try to stay busy filling our lives with all these activities and things just to get our minds off of everything going on, yet somehow its still all we think about. I could be smack dab in the middle of Disney World, see a cute baby and automatically start thinking about our infertility. If your going through miscarriage, Infertility, or infant loss it consumes your entire life. We may not want to think about it all the time but there is really no way around it. If we could turn it "off" believe me I would!
Now bring us to what were going through now. I have a schedule of when to take or do everything. So literally all day I am feeling the side effects and planning when to take my next medication. Its a constant reminder of what's going on.
If we do get pregnant, until I pass the first trimester I am going to be a nervous wreck because of the consuming thought of something going wrong like the last times. So even pregnant I feel that I still will not be able to turn it "off" until I reach farther in the pregnancy then I had been before.
So you see we would do anything for an "off" switch but that's not possible. Everyday there is a reminder of your struggles no matter how long you have been trying to have babies.
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